i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We named our party play list daddy issues
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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