I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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