So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
