I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
