did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
