I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
