Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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