We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
