I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
