You can't special order awesome
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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