Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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