im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
