So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
