Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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