you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
