when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
its liver damage thursday
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
