I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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