she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Someone came in the potted fern
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
