Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
