You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
try to milk me bitch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
