i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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