I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
