i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
