i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
