I just threw up on my dentist
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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