There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
