I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
