My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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