I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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