Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
