I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
