you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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