dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
