I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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