Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
