I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I love you.
Bad choice
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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