If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
wanna go halves on a baby?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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