Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
