I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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