Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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