You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
do herpes really smell.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
