You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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