I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
