my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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