If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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