dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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