the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
