yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I supernannyed him into submission
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
