girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
