Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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